This is a continuation of my previous blog – Not A Theologian. To say “finding my voice” has been difficult falls in the category of understatement. My voice mixes with so many things and ideas now that I look for moments and words I know are mine. God and I do not talk in words most of the time. I would say it is more a flow of emotion between us. There also exists a level of trust. God does not tell me what to do. I make my own choices. I am stubborn and independent to the surprise of many around me I think. I am quiet and private about my faith and that can be misunderstood. I believe in “live and let live” to a point. That point (or line) comes when someone takes away the right of others to do the same – especially when that crossing point negatively effects children.

After talking to Fr. Al on July 14 of this year (at his request), as I said he wanted me to pray formally for 5 minutes a day, I do not think this exercise had the hope for effect. He gave me a copy of Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition.  He wanted me to go through Part Four, Christian Prayer which goes through the Our Father line by line. That was alright until we reached the last line “but deliver us from evil”  and the Church theologian brought in Revelation 12:17 about the “woman and dragon.”  Have issues with the Book of Revelation and this prayer has been the one I have held on to over the years. Now it too makes me think of things that have been very difficult to sort out and have left residue in my writing and my thoughts. One day I hope to be able to explain this all more clearly.

So – I decided to write my own version of the Our Father. It, I hope, reflects what I once felt when reciting the prayer. It makes me cry when I say to myself – I guess that means it does. I felt a need to share it – this is my voice, enjoy:

Our Father

(in my heart)

by sidonamarie

Our Father,

ever-present –

with us everywhere

and in my heart –

praised be your name;

may your kingdom always be,

may your light to us be approachable,

may your will be our own,

on this earth and in heaven.

give us today all we need,

and forgive us

our shortsightedness,

our cruelty,

our judgements of others, and

our falling into a spirit of inhumanity

as we forgive others

theirs toward us;

and deliver us from

the evil that is our own arrogance.

For Yours, Father, is

the kingdom of the spirit,

the power of generous kindness,

and the praises sung

in the silence of the heart

in this moment and forever. amen.