My poetry has been and remains an important part of who I am. Writing poetry is how I cope with the traumatic parts of my life. Poetry keeps me grounded and between the extremes of the physical and spiritual worlds. I dream a lot and use many images in my poetry. Dreams are the dreamers poetry. However, I do not let them rule my life. I focus on the emotions I feel in them – that is where there truth rests. I have so many vivid and remembered dreams that I need to put them somewhere. Journals and poetry are where I put them only if I wake and remember them. I don’t force myself to remember dreams. It is a relief when I don’t to remember them.
I thought I would share the first three paragraphs of the introduction of By the Pond on pgs. ix-x:
Introduction
My poetry has been my therapy over the years. On March 20, 1993, I experienced an unusual and traumatic event. Over the years, poetry has helped me sort things out. I have always had a strong spiritual nature that is balanced by strong doubt. During periods of tremendous confusion, my poetry (sometimes more like stories, my son thinks) has helped me remember who I am, how I feel, and what I think, and always have since childhood. The poetic images I used mix and weave with my childhood and adult trauma—much of which is not clearly remembered. The theme I hope comes through is that we should not have our heads too far in the clouds or too deep in the dirt. Life exists as a balance somewhere in the middle, with little sojourns to both edges.
By the Pond is a reflection of my past and present, and it also represents my hope for the future. There was a pond in my childhood, a pond that I rode by a few times when I was young. It unsettled me, however, and I never wanted to go there. One time, as a child, I went by and the sun was very bright atop the deep blue of the water. There was wild growth all around the pond, but as pretty as it was, I could not look directly at it.
Water (especially in a pond) ripples readily, and pebbles and rocks are at the core of my poetry. The pond alludes to drowning and being weighed down by traumas, difficulties, confusing thoughts, and dreams. The image of the pond can be divided into two parts, a dark side and a light side that coexist paradoxically. My poetry represents a “dark night of the soul” that I went through in the 1990s.
Also, I remember a lot of my dreams. Mostly, I look at my emotions in them in addition to my state of mind. In other words, I don’t focus on what the dreams look like; rather, contemplate what they feel like to me. The mind creates its own kind of poetry that can reflect past memories, but I try to keep in mind that debris and overgrowth can hide a memory’s original clarity.
I have been through some difficult times. Yet – I am a glass half-full kind of person.
My poetry has been my therapy over the years. In 1993, an unusual traumatic event occurred with me. Poetry over the years has been my sorting out process. I have always had a strong spiritual nature balanced by strong doubt. During period of tremendous confusion, my poetry (sometimes more like stories my son thinks) helped me remember who I am, how I feel, and what I think and always have from a child. The theme I hope comes through is that we should not have our heads too far into the clouds or too deeply into the dirt. Life lives as balance somewhere in the middle with little visits to both edges. All 56 years of my life I have lived in Michigan. I was born in Kalamazoo September 16, 1958. My parents separated when I was young do to my mother’s mental illness. Dad died in 1965 at 29 from a cerebral hemorrhage. I was 6 when he passed. Grandma Peggy (my dad’s mother) went to court 7 times in a year and a half to fight for my younger sister (Kim who was mentally impaired) and me, because my dad had asked her too. She won custody of us. So, I lived with her in Bangor, Michigan through high school and college. I didn’t begin to write poetry until I went to live with my aunt (my mother’s sister) in Wartervliet, Michigan while attending Lake Michigan College in Benton Harbor. My aunt lived near my mother and her mother (my Grandma Elsie). After 2 years there, I attended Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo. I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts major in English and minor in Elementary Education. Right out of college fall of 1984 I was hired at St. Mary’s in Paw Paw, Michigan as a kindergarten teacher. I taught kindergarten for 1 year half days and was moved into a full-time first grade position for three years. I met my husband Gary during that time. On October 17, 1987, we married and I moved to Fennville, Michigan where I still live. Gary and I have a son age 24 and a daughter age 19.
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